The Story Behind BlackFox1985: My Journey from GamerTag to Artist Identity
Introduction
Everyone’s online identity has a story. Mine, BlackFox1985, is a blend of personal passion, nostalgia, and an homage to one of the greatest video games ever made: Metal Gear Solid. This handle has grown from a simple gamer tag to my artist identity and creative alter ego. Here’s the story behind how BlackFox1985 came to life.
Insert image of the Metal Gear Solid PS1 game cover here.
The Origins: Metal Gear Solid and Gray Fox
My first encounter with Metal Gear Solid was through a blue Pizza Hut demo disk. It featured several unforgettable games, but the one that grabbed me right away was Metal Gear Solid. From the first few moments, I was blown away by the attention to detail, like seeing the heat of the soldiers’ breath in the cold air. It was small, realistic touches like this that made the game feel immersive and ahead of its time.
Insert image of Gray Fox in his iconic cyborg ninja suit here.
Gray Fox didn’t appear until much later in the game, but the mystery surrounding him drew me in. I vividly remember the scene where he sliced through a hallway of soldiers outside Otacon’s office, his presence both terrifying and captivating. However, what truly struck me was Gray Fox’s role at the end of the game, when he used his final moments to even the playing field, giving Snake a fighting chance against Metal Gear Rex. His sacrifice leveled the battlefield, proving that even in the face of overwhelming odds, a single act of bravery could shift the tide of battle.
Gray Fox’s final words—“We’re not tools of the government, or anyone else. Fighting was the only thing I was good at, but at least I always fought for what I believed in”—resonated with me deeply. Despite everything he went through, even being transformed into the Cyborg Ninja, his soul remained his own. The wear and tear of battle couldn’t change the essence of who he was.
The Personal Backstory of BlackFox1985
When I first played Metal Gear Solid at 13 years old, I was completely captivated by the world it introduced me to. At that age, it was more than just a game—it was a story I wanted to be a part of. I was so enthralled with the narrative, the characters, and the sense of stealth and danger that I created my own backstory to merge myself into the lore of Metal Gear Solid, imagining that I was part of the next wave of FOXHOUND child soldiers, with the codename BlackFox.
Insert image of Solid Snake from the PS1 game here.
One of the most powerful aspects of the game for me was the music, especially the song “The Best is Yet to Come” by Aoife Ní Fhearraigh. After finishing the game, this song played over the end credits, and it was the perfect moment to soak in everything I had just experienced. The calm, serene melody felt like a warm embrace, giving me an environment to reflect on the depth of the story, the characters, and all the emotional highs and lows. It’s as if the song saturated me with the weight of the incredible narrative, and of course, getting the ‘good ending’ where Meryl survives made it all the more satisfying!
Connection Between the Game and My Artistic Journey
After playing Metal Gear Solid, I wanted to become an artist in the gaming industry. I was so inspired by the game’s story and characters that I pursued a career in game art design, eventually becoming one of three students to complete the Game Art & Design pilot program at Norco College. However, as I learned more about the industry, I became concerned that turning gaming into a job might take away the passion I had for it.
Another factor was how corporatized the gaming industry has become. Reports of poor treatment of game artists and a growing emphasis on profits over creativity led me to question whether I wanted to be part of that world. The fact that Hideo Kojima had to leave Konami due to creative differences—eventually establishing Kojima Productions to stay true to his vision—was inspiring. Kojima’s story, including the fallout with Konami, reminded me of the importance of maintaining creative integrity.
I also followed the story of Silent Hills P.T., a playable teaser created by Kojima, which never came to full fruition due to the split. Even though I didn’t get to play P.T., I loved how it relied on mind games, similar to Alfred Hitchcock’s style, to scare players rather than relying on gore or jump scares. Games like Visage and Allison Road have tried to capture the same psychological horror P.T. was praised for, but it still leaves a gap in the horror gaming world.
One moment that truly disgusted me about the gaming industry was when Konami barred Kojima from attending The Game Awards 2015 to accept an award for Metal Gear Solid V. Seeing the crowd booing at this decision emphasized how much the industry has shifted toward corporate control over passion and creativity. This event was a clear indicator that gaming, like many industries, has become more about profit than the artistry behind the games.
Meryl Silverburgh and Love on the Battlefield
I’ll admit, like many others, I had a huge crush on Meryl Silverburgh. I’m sure it’s exactly what Hideo Kojima intended. Despite all the chaos and danger surrounding them, Snake and Meryl had a special connection that stood out amid the mission. Plus, let’s be honest, Meryl’s hips swayed as she ran, and her cute butt was definitely hard to miss!
There’s a particular conversation in the game that has always stuck with me. It’s between Otacon and Snake, and it perfectly captures the idea of love in a war-torn world:
Otacon: Have you ever… loved someone?
Solid Snake: That’s what you came to ask?
Otacon: No, I was wondering if even soldiers fall in love.
Solid Snake: What are you trying to say?
Otacon: I want to ask you. Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield?
Solid Snake: Yeah. I do. I think at any time, any place, people can fall in love with each other. But if you love someone, you have to be able to protect them.
This wasn’t just about Snake and Meryl; it also touched on the complex dynamic between Otacon and Sniper Wolf. These moments of vulnerability and love are what made the game so much more than just a tactical experience—they brought real human emotions into a world of conflict, making the story resonate on a deeper level.
Gray Fox: The Ultimate Soldier
Gray Fox was an unforgettable character, one whose complexity added so much to the game. One quote in particular has stuck with me:
Gray Fox: “A cornered fox is more dangerous than a jackal!”
Much like Gray Fox’s legendary line, I approach gaming with a ‘swift and cunning’ mindset. Outsmarting opponents with wit, engaging in battles of the mind, is what I thrive on in any game.
Interestingly, I see a lot of myself in Gray Fox’s final role as protector. In most games, like Overwatch, Destiny, and MMOs, I feel drawn to Tank or Support roles. These roles require a deeper sense of responsibility—protecting, healing, and managing the battlefield. I love the complexity, needing to keep the entire team and enemy movements in mind. It’s not just about fighting, it’s about situational awareness and leading the team to victory, which drives me to step up when needed.
Unique Characters Crafted by Hideo Kojima
One of the things that made Metal Gear Solid so remarkable was the cast of unique characters Hideo Kojima created. Each character, from Gray Fox to Sniper Wolf and Psycho Mantis, had a distinctive set of skills, characteristics, and an intricate backstory. Psycho Mantis, for example, literally read your memory card and commented on the games you had played, breaking the fourth wall and adding to his unsettling presence. Sniper Wolf, a brilliant sniper, carried a deep connection to the battlefield, yet had a tragic story rooted in loss and loyalty. Kojima’s ability to weave these stories into the larger narrative added so much depth to the game.
Bringing It All Together: The Birth of BlackFox1985
Metal Gear Solid shaped so much of my identity, not just as a gamer but as an artist. Gray Fox’s complex character and the world Hideo Kojima crafted sparked something in me, leading me to create my own story within that universe. Combining my admiration for the character and the year of my birth, BlackFox1985 became my alter ego—symbolizing the balance between creativity and strength, embodying the cunning and unwavering spirit that defines who I am today.
Bonus Fun Fact
As a fun side note, I named two of my cats after Metal Gear Solid characters. One of them is Ryden, named after Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2, because they both have gorgeous blonde locks. I chose the spelling “Ryden” to avoid confusion with Raiden from Mortal Kombat. The other is Emma, named after Emma Emmerich from Metal Gear Solid 2. When I found her as a little baby, I had to protect her, much like you do with Emma in the game, making the name even more meaningful to me.